The REAL Reason Why You Procrastinate
February 6, 2008
Have you been putting off doing one of the ‘big rocks’ in your life?
For example, have you been procrastinating on
- making a career change
- going for the next level in your business
- asking for a raise
- leaving a relationship that’s not right for you
Here are the REAL reason why…
In contrast to most advice columns, I think procrastination has less to do with fear, and more to do with hope.
When you procrastinate on doing the ‘big rocks’ in your life you do so to preserve hope: As long as you don’t ‘put yourself out there’, then in your mind you can continue to live in the possibility that someday you will live up to your ideal of yourself and earn the respect of people important to you.
Here’s what’s going on inside your mind. Even though you have objective accomplishments you can point to, you still have a doubt about whether you are ‘enough’ or have what it takes to succeed in your next step. You are worried about 2 things: 1) that your bold next step might not go well, but more importantly, 2) you will make it a confirmation that you will never be able to live up to the dream you have for yourself (or at least not without an insurmountable amount of effort). Meaning, any rockiness you experience along the way to making your next step work you will interpret as a confirmation of your worst fear: that you really are ‘not enough’ or ‘don’t have what it takes’. That would lead to hopelessness.
Your procrastination behaviors are an effort to prevent the bursting of that bubble. By not testing your capability in the real world, you can hold onto the hope in your mind you are still capable of achieving dreams you’ve long had for yourself. You get to live in hope so you can still go on with your life and feel ok about yourself because “someday” you’re going to make the life you want and be the person you want to be. This allows you to accept the way you feel ‘not good enough’ now.
The problem is that when you don’t put yourself out there, you also don’t grow from experiences. You don’t move your life forward. You don’t get what you want or become who you want to be. And other people pass you by, and it makes you feel progressively insecure about yourself.
People who procrastinate seek relief. They get rewards by living in hope. Successful people seek real results. They get rewards by making real contributions in the world and learning from their mistakes.
P.S. I’ve started my next step…I’ll be done writing my book by the end of the month. Are you starting yours?
1) What are you putting off because you are trying not to confirm your worst fear about yourself?
2) If things don’t go well for you, do you say to yourself “see, things don’t go my way”, or “see, this proves they don’t think I’m good enough”. Instead, think of how successful people respond; they have an attitude of “whoever makes the most mistakes wins”.
3) Do you set yourself up to procrastinate by running “what if” scenarios? Instead, try focusing only on the next small step you’ll need to take.
If you know you are procrastinating on your work or putting off taking an important next step in your life, join my upcoming 8 week program in which you are guaranteed to move beyond your old ways and become the focussed, confident person you’ve always imagined you would be.
Comments
2 Responses to “The REAL Reason Why You Procrastinate”
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I have got your advice as the tool that awaken me on the way i am and pointed out where my real weak side is. Thank u indeed.
with best regards
Tegegne
I procrastinate because i have fear in my mind that something i was supposed to do is difficult.